We are one step closer to our daughter. Yesterday the birthmom, G, had an ultrasound and everything looks good AND they were able to confirm that the baby is a GIRL!!! Her due date is August 7th....WOW, that is sooner than we thought. My sister-in-law, aka Angel, talked with G and although yesterday was a hard day for G (her first time seeing the baby) she said that she thinks an adoption plan is best for the baby. It is hard to be excited when I know G is hurting. She's so young and sweet and I have really grown to care about her. The GREAT news is it sounds like G and her parents are more interested in an open adoption which we truly believe is best for everyone. Initially they were in shock and just wanted the situation to go away, so it didn't seem like they wanted any contact with the baby, but now they are adjusting and softening and that is great.
The social worker (who I adore) meets with G today and will have a lot more information. I am also hoping that G wants to talk to us and if she does than I am looking forward to calling her tomorrow.
I have moments of overwhelming joy and peace. The personal growth I have been through, and am still going through, with this journey is amazing and I almost can't think about it or I will crumble into a pile on the floor. It is all so much and yet exactly right. I don't know how excited to be. I know that G could change her mind or the bio father could say he wants custody (which is unlikely, but you never know). So, can I be excited now, or do I need to wait until we are holding our baby girl and G has signed the paperwork? This whole process is so different than international adoption and I don't feel prepared. I want to go buy a couple girlie outfits, but I am cautious. I know if G decides to raise the baby then that is her right and I will honor that, but it will be hard to let go. Any advice is appreciated.
2 comments:
You know, I don't think we can prevent all potential suffering so why hold back too much? With each step forward, it's good to allow yourself to grow in excitement. But it also makes sense that you guard your heart a bit because, just like in any adoption, until you're holding that child in your arms, there are no guarantees. One thought I have is to continue to give meaning to the process itself - what you're learning and how you're growing - and not just the end goal. This may help you to stay in the moment and to cherish all that you're receiving right now before the baby even arrives.
My advice would be to ask the social worker that same question, especially after she talks with G. My social worker friend has cautioned me that bet. teenage hormones and pregnancy hormones my niece will swing like a pendulum. And, boy does she. However, after talking with G your social worker should be able to better guide you. Plus, hopefully, you will be able to talk with her soon also and maybe get a "feel?" Hopeful optimism is what I try to employ at all times. But I also keep in mind that "people do what they want".
Keep us posted:-)
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